25.5 Conflict in the group and decision making

Several tired adults, hot and in a small space, are going to clash. Prepare for it before it happens.

The daily meeting (10 minutes)

1. Situation: what we know (official sources only).
2. Resources: water, food, fuel, battery, medicines.
3. Decisions: what needs to be decided today and who decides.
4. Tasks: who does what and by when.
5. How we are doing: a quick round of how each person feels.

Rules for deciding

• Life-or-death decisions (whether to evacuate, going to the hospital): official orders take priority; if there are none, decide together, quickly, with the information available. Agree today on who has the final say if there is no agreement.
• Area decisions (how to ration water, schedules): the person in charge of that area makes them.

• Decide, inform, review: make the decision, explain why, and set when it will be reviewed.
• Once it is decided, everyone follows through. Disagreements are reopened at the next meeting, not in the middle of the task.

When there is conflict

• Separate the problem from the person: "The water is running out," not "You use too much water."
• Ask for a time-out: 20 minutes in another room or walking the pets outside.
• Check the basics: many fights are hunger, heat, thirst, or lack of sleep.
• Listen to the end before responding; repeat what you understood.